Since I was so put off by the bad week it has been in office, let me try to jump start the collection of cerita2 bell (yes, I am early in office but can't be bothered to think about work)
Venue : Language Lab (yang didermakan Japanese government tapi selalu jadi mangsa Wong and Aiwa pecah masuk kot ceiling tengok... ehem ehem)
Time: Morning period, sometimes in 1992 (masa F3), set A
Macam biasa lah once a week masa English period kena pegi Language Lab. Aku pun tak pernah paham apa guna pergi Language Lab tu, sebab although equipment dia canggih manggih (by our standard masa tu laa), tapi haram sepanjang seumur hidup aku kat koleq pernah pakai any of the equipment.
Selalunya Puru akan bagi a sheet of paper and dia dok membebel dengan peribahasa-peribahasa dia (Puru pre-dates Karam Singh Walia in this department - Note 1), lepas tu kalau lucky sikit dia pasang laa tape conversation apa2. So masuk Language Lab tu kira nak merasa air cond laa, bukan properly use pun.
Dah laa Language Lab tu for each seat ada cubicle (kononnya nak bagi privacy bila concentrate dengar audio ngan headphone laa), so kalau duduk belakang and Puru the almighty duduk depan control console dia tak pernah bergerak, perfect place to lentok laa...
Cerita pasal Puru ni, dia touchy feely sikit pasal Language Lab ni. Use of eraser was banned ha ha, sapa2 nak cari pasal ngan dia bawak laa masuk eraser dalam Languange Lab.
Tapi cerita ni bukan pasal eraser, tapi pasal love affair Chamat and Fazurin (2 top students English) ngan Puru ha ha..
Aku tak ingat sangat the seating, but I was on the left hand part of the class, aku nya deskmate in Set A dulu tak ingat. Tapi rasanya Chamat and Fazurin, deskmates, duduk betul2 depan mata Puru.
So satu hari di dalam 1992 itu, Puru seperti biasa nya membebel pasal something laaa.... tiba2 dia berhenti. So semua orang pelik and suspens laa, ada budak bawak eraser lagi ke dalam Language Lab.
Semua mata then tertumpu kepada Chamat....
Chamat dengan selambanya, macam Puru tak de ke depan tu, baca buku cerita (bukan Tom Clancy or Danielle Steele) masa Puru mengajar. And even lepas Puru dok stare pun, Chamat still dok baca non-chalantly.
Pada masa tu lah Puru mengeluarkan kata-kata hikmah yang sampai sekarang diquote apabila berdepan dengan anak buah2 di ofis yang perasan pandai (tapi Chamat memang betul2 pandai):
"Ini budak ingat dia sudaaaaa pan-deeeiiiii, bak itu rotan"
PIAP! PIAP!
Kitorang tak tanya la pulak Chamat bahana kepandaian dia kat his backside that day.
In other case, aku pun tak ingat sangat apa yang Fazurin buat (maybe bawak eraser dalam Language Lab kot), tapi tiba2 je Puru saman ke depan.
Seperti biasa....
PIAP! PIAP!
Tapi tak cukup dengan tu, masa Fazurin dah nak balik ke tempat dia, Puru panggil balik and... jeng jeng jeng...
Rubbing Fazurin nya backside, dia merasa2. But no worry, tak de kena mengena ngan case paedophilia, Puru suspicious Fazurin letak buku dalam his pants ha ha ha (punya lah paranoid Puru).
Since that day, kitorang suspect Fazurin sebenornya jambu Puru.
Nota 1:
Antara quotations famous Puru which pre-date Karam Singh Walia:
"Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya kennnnnaaaaaa jugaaaa..."
"Bagaikan anjing menyalak pasirrrr..."
(yang selebihnya kena tanya Wong, dia archive semua Puru punya peribahasa)
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Minah Rempit
From Auzir:
" Ni aku cerita ni pasal kenangan lama la
Chamat, I may not be close to you but I have a few fond memories dgn kau...hmmm..
Kau ingat tak kau pernah naik moto dgn aku dan either mat top / haris muhkri / radin (kita orang naik 3 orang) kat kampung aku. Kau duduk kat tengah tengah. Pastu aku lepas tangan.. kau menjerit sakan. Hahaha
Ada ingat tak? Masa tu form berapa tak ingat dah..
Aku jugak tak pernah fly sampai Ipoh, but masa ada cuti pendek sebelum SPM yang suppose parents datang ke apa tah..Chamat ajak aku pegi tgk wayang citer the MASK kat Ipoh. Naik bas..pastu balik naik kete api. Pagi baru sampai kat Kuala..
Aku rasa Chamat terer giler sebab walaupun aku orang kuale..aku tak pernah naik bas pegi Ipoh.. Ipoh pun jarang jarang pegi.
al maklum la aku orang Jawang."
" Ni aku cerita ni pasal kenangan lama la
Chamat, I may not be close to you but I have a few fond memories dgn kau...hmmm..
Kau ingat tak kau pernah naik moto dgn aku dan either mat top / haris muhkri / radin (kita orang naik 3 orang) kat kampung aku. Kau duduk kat tengah tengah. Pastu aku lepas tangan.. kau menjerit sakan. Hahaha
Ada ingat tak? Masa tu form berapa tak ingat dah..
Aku jugak tak pernah fly sampai Ipoh, but masa ada cuti pendek sebelum SPM yang suppose parents datang ke apa tah..Chamat ajak aku pegi tgk wayang citer the MASK kat Ipoh. Naik bas..pastu balik naik kete api. Pagi baru sampai kat Kuala..
Aku rasa Chamat terer giler sebab walaupun aku orang kuale..aku tak pernah naik bas pegi Ipoh.. Ipoh pun jarang jarang pegi.
al maklum la aku orang Jawang."
Monday, September 25, 2006
Lirik Lagu Baru Loque
ni lirik lagu baru aku...
harus berwaspada sayang,
hari kiamat semakin dekat aku Semakin Sesat
Di hutan Batu,
Nabi Musa membelah Lautan tapi sayang kau membelah hatiku,
harap maaf siaran tergendala lalu jalan Sehala,
ke pintu Syurga,ke pintu Syurga..
gila korang smua networking zaman gelap siut... ok ok ok.... peace!kang aku ckp lebih lebih kang kena tembak betul pulak nanti!btw....
siapa berminat utk chck lagu2 baru aku, sila lah kehttp://www.myspace.com/monoloque... dan dgr lah lagu lagu aku yg mengkhayalkan lagi mengasyikkan..oooooooops.......hahahahh(gelak setan)hahahahhahah ooopsi did it again....
harus berwaspada sayang,
hari kiamat semakin dekat aku Semakin Sesat
Di hutan Batu,
Nabi Musa membelah Lautan tapi sayang kau membelah hatiku,
harap maaf siaran tergendala lalu jalan Sehala,
ke pintu Syurga,ke pintu Syurga..
gila korang smua networking zaman gelap siut... ok ok ok.... peace!kang aku ckp lebih lebih kang kena tembak betul pulak nanti!btw....
siapa berminat utk chck lagu2 baru aku, sila lah kehttp://www.myspace.com/monoloque... dan dgr lah lagu lagu aku yg mengkhayalkan lagi mengasyikkan..oooooooops.......hahahahh(gelak setan)hahahahhahah ooopsi did it again....
Lagi Sajak Daripada Negara Matahari Terbit
Sajak caleng:
aku caleng
engkau caleng
aleng caleng
semua orang caleng
tapi sapa pencaleng
mencalengkan
pencaleng
calenggggg...
p/s Moral dari sajak : Kalau anda caleng bulan puasa anda akan jadi seperti Aleng.
aku caleng
engkau caleng
aleng caleng
semua orang caleng
tapi sapa pencaleng
mencalengkan
pencaleng
calenggggg...
p/s Moral dari sajak : Kalau anda caleng bulan puasa anda akan jadi seperti Aleng.
GAMBOR...
FROM GADAP WITH LOVE...
Abu Usama to koleq9094 - p/s Yang pakai spek tu macho giler........
Monday, September 18, 2006
An Equal Language
A friend of mine frequently rails against the numerous pronouns we have in Malay and how this perpetuates the feudal mentality among Malay speakers. For the first person alone, we have several words, ranging from the casual aku to the royal beta. We also have a few words for the second person like kau, kamu and awak, but since it is considered rude to address people directly in the second person unless you know them very well or are deliberately trying to be rude, the use of these words is limited. The Malay speakers' obsession with politeness and social decorum has engendered a situation where the English word "you" could be translated in more than 20 ways into Malay, all depending on the social status and age of the person being addressed.
If I wanted to borrow my uncle's car, I would never say, "I would like to borrow your car." Instead I would use the oblique-sounding form "I would like to borrow uncle's (pak cik) car." And this applies throughout. When forced to address another person directly in the second person, a Malay speaker would instinctively look for a title that applies to the person and use is rather than say awak or kamu (you). (Yes, forced. For in case you haven't noticed, we tend to drop the noun altogether whenever we can). As a result, even the lowliest specimens on the social ladder would get the honorific title abang (elder brother), if he's older, or adik (little brother), if he's younger, or the slightly more formal encik (mister). What sticklers for propriety we are, the Malays. Thus, a sentence like "What is your opinion on the rise of Big Mac consumption among the young?" could be translated in Malay as "Apakah pendapat (cross as appropriate) tuan/puan/encik/Dato'/Tan Sri/Puan Sri/Datin/Datin Sri/Tok Puan/Tuan Haji/Yang Mulia/Toh Puan/Tun/Tuanku/abang/adik/mak long/mak su/pak ngah/abang andak tentang meningkatnya pemakanan Big Mac di kalangan muda-mudi?", depending on who you're speaking to.
And of course, in a country where there is a proliferation of noble titles both deserved and undeserved, the question of using the right titles to replace the second person pronoun can be a bewildering to the unitiated. Imagine having to say something like "You are most welcomed to give comments or any views you may have on this matter or any other issues that have been brought forward to your attention by your stakeholders." in Malay to a Tan Sri or a Dato'. It's small wonder that people prefer doing business dealings in English in this country. The use of English is not just a question of obviating the hassle of social propriety: it also involves the question of equitability. Having to address someone by his noble title in every other sentence may seem like a small concession, but subconsciously, it already affects the dynamics of the conversation, an important consideration in million ringgit business negotiations.
The use of titles is a constant reminder of the difference in social status, and by extension, of power, real or imagined, among the speakers. This is what my friend meant when he avers that the use, or rather the disuse, of pronouns in Malay perpetuates the feudal mentality among the Malays; for how can there be lords if there are no servants? This gave me food for thought. When Malay was adopted as the national language for all Indonesia by the Indonesian independence movement in 1928, it was chosen not only on account of its status as an established lingua franca, but also because it was seen to be free of the hierarchical inhibitions that bedevilled Javanese, the actual majority language of Indonesia. In short, Malay was adopted in Indonesia because it lends itself more readily to democratic principles and equality for all.
Ironic, don't you think?
AHMAD FAZURIN
p/s : This article was originally posted in Fazurin's blog. Aku re-post kat sini without permission. Maafkan aku...
If I wanted to borrow my uncle's car, I would never say, "I would like to borrow your car." Instead I would use the oblique-sounding form "I would like to borrow uncle's (pak cik) car." And this applies throughout. When forced to address another person directly in the second person, a Malay speaker would instinctively look for a title that applies to the person and use is rather than say awak or kamu (you). (Yes, forced. For in case you haven't noticed, we tend to drop the noun altogether whenever we can). As a result, even the lowliest specimens on the social ladder would get the honorific title abang (elder brother), if he's older, or adik (little brother), if he's younger, or the slightly more formal encik (mister). What sticklers for propriety we are, the Malays. Thus, a sentence like "What is your opinion on the rise of Big Mac consumption among the young?" could be translated in Malay as "Apakah pendapat (cross as appropriate) tuan/puan/encik/Dato'/Tan Sri/Puan Sri/Datin/Datin Sri/Tok Puan/Tuan Haji/Yang Mulia/Toh Puan/Tun/Tuanku/abang/adik/mak long/mak su/pak ngah/abang andak tentang meningkatnya pemakanan Big Mac di kalangan muda-mudi?", depending on who you're speaking to.
And of course, in a country where there is a proliferation of noble titles both deserved and undeserved, the question of using the right titles to replace the second person pronoun can be a bewildering to the unitiated. Imagine having to say something like "You are most welcomed to give comments or any views you may have on this matter or any other issues that have been brought forward to your attention by your stakeholders." in Malay to a Tan Sri or a Dato'. It's small wonder that people prefer doing business dealings in English in this country. The use of English is not just a question of obviating the hassle of social propriety: it also involves the question of equitability. Having to address someone by his noble title in every other sentence may seem like a small concession, but subconsciously, it already affects the dynamics of the conversation, an important consideration in million ringgit business negotiations.
The use of titles is a constant reminder of the difference in social status, and by extension, of power, real or imagined, among the speakers. This is what my friend meant when he avers that the use, or rather the disuse, of pronouns in Malay perpetuates the feudal mentality among the Malays; for how can there be lords if there are no servants? This gave me food for thought. When Malay was adopted as the national language for all Indonesia by the Indonesian independence movement in 1928, it was chosen not only on account of its status as an established lingua franca, but also because it was seen to be free of the hierarchical inhibitions that bedevilled Javanese, the actual majority language of Indonesia. In short, Malay was adopted in Indonesia because it lends itself more readily to democratic principles and equality for all.
Ironic, don't you think?
AHMAD FAZURIN
p/s : This article was originally posted in Fazurin's blog. Aku re-post kat sini without permission. Maafkan aku...
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
aku menangis kerana PETRONAS yang kusayangi
tatkala harga minyak dunia melambung tinggi,
ku ingat ini berita gembira duniawi,
kerna negaraku minyaknya kaya sekali,
namun kegembiraan ku terhenti disini,
bila terpaksa membeli dgn harga yang tinggi,
aku menangis kerana PETRONAS yang kusayangi,
aku bangga dalam senyap sendiri,
bila hasil minyak negara mampu berbakti,
menaja insan pilihan pertiwi ,
menuntut ilmu kemana sahaja yang diingini,
tapi kini tawaku terhenti,
bijak pandai tajaan entah ke mana pergi,
aku menangis kerana PETRONAS yang kusayangi,
cambah jurutera, ramainya sarjana seri,
bangsaku kini bukan calangan lagi,
ku tunggu mereka menabur bakti,
agar negaraku mampu berdikari,
tapi impianku tidak menjadi,
jangankan berbakti mereka terus diam menyepi,
hasilnya yang untung bukan sendiri tapi israeli,
aku menangis kerana PETRONAS yang kusayangi,
aduh kasihan sekali bangsaku yang bijak bistari,
imbuhan diberi untuk diam menyepi,
jangan sekali mendedahkan bukti,
biarlah harta negara diboloti SCOMI,
asal saja cukup bulan gaji diberi,
apa nak jadi jangan peduli,
aku menangis kerana PETRONAS yang kusayangi,
bulan puasa menjelang lagi,
aku menanti bukannya hari aidilfitri,
tapi iklan di TV yang menyentuh hati ,
tiap tahun aku manangisi,
iklan yang cukup memberi erti,
berbalar kesan kepada sanubari,
aku menangis kerana PETRONAS yang kusayangi lagi.
ABU USAMA...
p/s Nukilan ketika tengah berak.
ku ingat ini berita gembira duniawi,
kerna negaraku minyaknya kaya sekali,
namun kegembiraan ku terhenti disini,
bila terpaksa membeli dgn harga yang tinggi,
aku menangis kerana PETRONAS yang kusayangi,
aku bangga dalam senyap sendiri,
bila hasil minyak negara mampu berbakti,
menaja insan pilihan pertiwi ,
menuntut ilmu kemana sahaja yang diingini,
tapi kini tawaku terhenti,
bijak pandai tajaan entah ke mana pergi,
aku menangis kerana PETRONAS yang kusayangi,
cambah jurutera, ramainya sarjana seri,
bangsaku kini bukan calangan lagi,
ku tunggu mereka menabur bakti,
agar negaraku mampu berdikari,
tapi impianku tidak menjadi,
jangankan berbakti mereka terus diam menyepi,
hasilnya yang untung bukan sendiri tapi israeli,
aku menangis kerana PETRONAS yang kusayangi,
aduh kasihan sekali bangsaku yang bijak bistari,
imbuhan diberi untuk diam menyepi,
jangan sekali mendedahkan bukti,
biarlah harta negara diboloti SCOMI,
asal saja cukup bulan gaji diberi,
apa nak jadi jangan peduli,
aku menangis kerana PETRONAS yang kusayangi,
bulan puasa menjelang lagi,
aku menanti bukannya hari aidilfitri,
tapi iklan di TV yang menyentuh hati ,
tiap tahun aku manangisi,
iklan yang cukup memberi erti,
berbalar kesan kepada sanubari,
aku menangis kerana PETRONAS yang kusayangi lagi.
ABU USAMA...
p/s Nukilan ketika tengah berak.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)