Misteri Kehilangan Adabi - Siri Penyiasatan Enid Blyton

Pada suatu ketika masa dahulu kala yang lampau, tatkala kita berhadapan dgn SRP, ibu bapa ku telah membelikan aku set latihan maktab adabi gaya pos dengan harapan dapat membantu aku menghadapi peperiksaan. Ini kerana sepanjang 3 tahun di koleq, tidak ternampak tanda2 anak mereka ini mungkin selamat dalam ujian tersebut. Terdapat berpuluh2 buku latihan disajikan, ....untukku simpan di dalam locker.


Pada suatu hari minggu, aku pun dgn semangat berkobar membuka locker utk membuat latihan. Terkejut diri ini menyaksikan hanya tinggal 5-6 keping je buku latihan adabi yang tinggal (org ini terkejut kehilangan barang yg dia jarang/malas guna) bersama sekeping naftalena yg aku letak kerana tak tahan dgn bau meja che tam yg disiram jus toilet di 3PK2. (nota1)

Marah dan keliru, terduduklah aku seorang diri di 3Pk2 pada hari minggu tersebut mengenang nasib. Pelbagai soalan timbul. Di manakah silapku? Adakah kerana aku mmg takde harapan jd buku2 tersebut diserahkan pada yg pintar? Adakah kerana aku tak tulih di bahagian kulit buku itu "Allah melihat apa yg anda lakukan" ? Adakah sudah pukul 1 tgh ? (org ini sebnarnya tgh tunggu nak report con, bukan dia rajin gi study kat kelas waktu weekend)

Hari berganti minggu, pada satu hari aku terkejut pabila membuka locker dan mendapati naftalena ku juga hilang... acah je... sambungan - ... mendapati buku2 tersebut muncul semula tersusun rapi dalam locker. Belum puas terkejut, kejutan aku ditambah dgn kehadiran sekeping coklat mahal di dalam locker tersebut. Terduduklah aku seorang diri di 3Pk2 pada hari minggu tersebut dalam kekeliruan. (org ini kena con lagi)

Resah dan gelisah aku melihat kepingan coklat yg lazat itu. (kau sepatutnya resah dgn srp) Perlukah aku makan dalam keadaan marah atau gembira? Kalu aku makan ni kira aku maafkan ke perbuatan org itu yg mengganggu perasaang ku yg fragile ini? Bolehkah aku mendapatkan cap jari pada coklat itu utk mengesan org itu? Dan kenapa pula coklat ni tinggal 3/4 je? Ada org lain dah makan dulu ke org yg amik buku tu berbelah bagi nak bagi kat aku?

15 tahun telah berlalu, srp pun dah takde. Siapakah dikau? Bagaimana result srp mu? Aku tanak announce result aku sbb nanti menggugat kredibiliti maktab adabi.

nota1 : kejadian air terjun/kolam jus toilet di meja che tam itu sgt la meloyakan, tidak dapat dipastikan punca jus tersebut tetapi berdasarkan lokasi, bahagian atas meja che tam adalah toilet blok form 3. mula2 tu kelakar la jugak duk gelakkan che tam, lama2 tu gila pening belajar 2-3 hari dlm kelas bau toilet.

ps : aku baru tau enid blyton tu pompuan...
ps2 : aku ingat kat email, bahagian bawah yg disclaimer tu letak juga "Allah melihat apa yg anda lakukan" supaya topik tak kena hijack.

trivia : aku memiliki no giliran terakhir utk srp terakhir di koleq, ada skali tu lepas ujian lisan, aku ronda seluruh koleq 7-8 kali cari korang semua yg hilang. misteri lagi. rupanya ada aktiviti lepas srp kat clifford yg mana aku tak tau atau tuli tak dengar.

DOKUMENTASI KEKEJAMAN & PENYIKSAAN DI PREP SCHOOL & NEW HOSTEL CIRCA 1990-1991 PART I

Tahun 1990. Tempat kejadian : Dorm E, Prep School.

Ada sekali waktu inspection, Chomang went through locker ruff. nampak tin bulat cottage fries* (nota 1) dalam locker. Apa lagi, Chomang punya la excited boleh pau grub ruff. Little did he know dalam kotak cottage fries tu sebenarnya mengandungi stokin pong ruff yang telah digulung rapi. dia pun buka...pergh (bau aku tak ingat sebab aku duduk at the other end of dorm E). Chomang punya la angin, dia terus suruh ruff buka mulut & ruff kena 'tokak' (orang KL kata gigit)* (nota 2) gumpalan stokin itu sehingga habis inspection ketika itu.

Nota 1 : Menurut kata mangsa, bukan Cottage Fries tetapi Pringles.
Nota 2 : Mangsa claim dia amnesia so dia tak ingat part gigit stokin - biasa la, pelanduk memang selalu lupakan jerat, hahahaha...

Dr M dan Dorm F (DMDF)

Have you ever wondered when you were in junior years in koleq, what was the one single cruellest thing ever done to you by your prefects?

In the late 80s and early 90s, prefects in charge of Prep School and New Hostel (unfortunately nowadays called; or rather self-proclaimed by them as “Custo” – the short form of custodian – too corny to a cynic like me ha ha) were really given free hands in the running and the dishing out of punishments to the F1s and F2s. I dare say that there was nothing worse than fire-drill or Common Room in those days, nothing that we dreaded so much more than that.

During my first semester break in May 1990, I told my parents that I wanted to leave the school because I couldn’t take it anymore. I can’t remember what was the conversation that took place but I did go on (like so many of us). Otherwise I wouldn’t have been around to tell you all these stories – and it would have been such a waste that what was the best part of my life so far; wouldn’t have been there. And all because of the overzealousness of some 16 and 17 year olds who lorded over us like Gods!

Anyway, in my book the cruellest thing ever done to anyone of us was perpetrated by my own dorm prefect (Dorm E) to Syed Moto (who adopted Dr M for Dr Moto nowadays). I think if we were to rank koleq’s cruellest act pun, over a period of 20 years, this one will always rank high in the list.

Those who have the privilege to know Moto would concur that he was unique. He was the tallest in koleq during our time that he required a special bed made for him to accommodate his long legs ha ha. He speaks like “moto” (laju nak mampus) hence the nickname Moto. He also has the longest name that required a separate IC just to spell his long name.

But when he was in Form 1, he operated a 7-11 store from his locker (to quote Radin ha ha) and it was a really un-kept and messy 7-11, if you know what I mean ha ha. To be blunt, locker dia ada segala jenis barang yg tah hapa2 (e.g. payung!) and memang bersepah giler. The joke among us was that bukak je locker Moto, habis bertaburan keluar barang bersepah macam avalanche ha ha

So not surprisingly he would have been picked on by the prefects each inspection, each night. It was quite a pity that after each inspection locker dia memang kena selongkar and he would spend the time after that to put in order (which never worked ha ha)

So one day, I think after he was given some ultimatum, this prefect went on to check his locker again. I was not nearby (his bed was at the end of Dorm E, mine was right in front of the cube) so I didn’t know how bad was the avalanche (if there was any ha ha).

But the prefect flipped and went back rushing to his cube, took his scissors. The next thing we knew he threw all Moto’s belongings through the big window at the end of Dorm E to the valley two storey below, he cut Moto’s kelambu and ripped the bed sheet etc. – all thrown outside, scattered all over the place.

But wait for it, that’s not the climax.

Moto was ordered to sleep at the corridor for more than a week! Imagine us waking up in the morning each day to find Moto sleeping at the corridor, curled in coldness ha ha ha. That’s why in our book Moto was the sole occupant of Dorm F – created specially for him.

Anyway last night there was a series of e-mail as Leman staged a come-back to make up for February’s appalling NIL point performance; and the jokes evolved from one to another.

Enjoy this – Moto finally gave his own thoughts on how he felt about the incident after all these years ha ha.

Bochap:
ini komplikasi peringkat tertinggi! Kawan2, jangan biarkan doktor moto menyulitkan hidup kita sekali lagi. Cukuplah tragedi Dorm F...

Joe:
saya cadangkan dr m di yellow card macam hoki, 5 minutes duduk tepi padang kerana idea2 dan thesis2 yang memeningkan kepala.. same house? belakang kira

Moto:
sbb tu aku dah immune .. ah .. tak heran duduk tepi padang .. dulu pun aku duduk tepi padang gak .. bukannye aku main ape ape .. tapi aku still boleh jerit dari tepi padang ... wakakaka

Radin:
kesian la kat syedmoto.. korang halau duduk tepi padang.. dulu dia dah kena halau pi dorm F... hahah

Moto:
dorm f .. miahahahahahaha .. teringin aku nak jumpa ID skarang .. kena tanya puyeng ah mana aku nak korek mamat ni

Rough:
laaa dia jadi lecturer kat UniKL. pi lah visit dia he he he

Radin:
kalau ko jumpa ID, call aku.. aku mmg nak pukul tibai dia.. dendam kesumat masih lagi membara ni. ID buat aku mcm hamba abdi masa F1 dulu.

Moto:
okeh .. nanti aku stalk dia dulu ..tahu dulu pergerakan dia .. belajar pattern dia .. kenalpasti saudara mara dan tempat tinggal dia ... peh tu kita atur plan ....

Rough:
laaaaaa yg ni pun kau dah buleh pakai nak revenge..."hello, saya dr m, phd lagi muda dari awak. saya laa yang awak campak barang2 keluar tingkap dorm e dulu and paksa tidor kat koridor."

Radin:
antara barang2 yg dicampak :

1) biskut yg ada bau & rasa ubat gegat
2) payung yg disimpan dlm locker pendek kecik tu..

Rough:
ha ha ha ha yang paling klasik biskut yang ada bau tu gegat tu... rasa aku x tahu sbb tak try lagi
tapi gula pun banyak kan? kalau uncle david x cukup gula dia pi mintak ngan dr m ha ha ha

Radin:
Gula pun ada. Benda yg ko tak terpikir nak simpan pun dia boleh simpan dlm locker tu. Senang cite locker moto ada semua benda. Mcm 7 eleven

Bochap:
kau nak plan apa dr.m? kau nak potong markah dia gak ke?

Moto:
banyak dah devil plan aku develop .. cuma cari masa dan mangsa je ...
Hahahahahahah

Bochap:
tapi dia devil dari besi la dr.m... devil plan kau cukup mantap kah untuk mengatasi dia?

Lateral Thinking

Ok... ni crite2 pendek sbb ada yg komplen blog ni lama tak update.. Ada byk story lain tp byk yg kena ada graphic.

Ada skali tu masa main bola waktu F1, semua org tgh bertungkus lumus defend bola depan gol. Beratus2 kaki-kaki bangku menerjah bola utk sumbat/tahan bola masuk gol. Datanglah murzali sekonyong2 mengangkat bola itu dgn tangan pastu pass kat keeper..... simple as that.

Ada crite satu lagi, aku penah mendapat satu2nya peluang keemasan depan gol. Bola cross tinggi melepasi semua org dan tinggal aku berhadapan gawang gol yg kosong. Aku pun merembat bola itu sekuat hati namun hanya segumpal rumput yg aku sepak. Dgn kedua2 kaki yg melekat pada tanah, aku pun cuba menolak bola itu menggunakan pinggang dlm keadaan desperado. Dari sudut yg lain kelihatan aku cuba menanduk bola itu menggunakan konek..... totally memalukan dan ternyata usaha ku sia2 sahaja. Sejak itu aku mencebur diri ke gelanggang bola telanjang.

Itulah saja utk bulan ini....

--->addendum after comment oleh seseorang yg tak reply2 email aku.....

org bola telanjang--->